So, can therapy help?
Yes, it can – if you are willing to put in the time and effort. Therapy offers you and your partner the opportunity to understand patterns that leave you feeling stuck. It will also help you work with ‘difference’, rather than seeing everything as ‘right or wrong’. It will show you how your own thinking influences the way you experience your partner and the relationship. From that position, you can make a conscious decision about how you want to go forward with your relationship.
Relationships are complex
We spend a large percentage of our time trying to get into relationship; trying to get out of relationship; or just trying to make sense of the one we are in.
The early stages are often full of deep connection, romance, laughter, excitement and fun, swiftly followed by the ‘power struggle’. This is when it’s all about right and wrong; good and bad; yes and no; you versus me. This ‘power struggle’ usually leaves us feeling disconnected, isolated, lonely, hurt and exhausted. We start asking ourselves questions like ‘What happened?’, ‘How did we get here?’ and ‘Is this relationship really for me?’ Which is probably why you’re here. You’re trying to work out what to do and whether therapy can help.
How does it work?
First, I schedule a 15 minute call with each of you. That way, you can ask your questions and get a feel for who I am and how I work. If you both agree you would like to work with me, I’ll book you in for an initial 2 hour session. The first session is divided into four parts i) understanding what each of you want from the work we might do together; ii) uncovering how each of you process information and stimuli and how that impacts your thinking, behaviour and the relationship; iii) establishing the level of safety that exists in the space between you in order to determine what we need to work on first and iv) spending the last 10 minutes looking at what you are learning about yourself, your partner and the relationship and what you want to do going forward.
How many sessions do we need?
That all depends on what is right for your relationship. I believe every relationship has its own rhythm. Whether you come weekly or fortnightly, the focus is on establishing a rhythm that allows you and your partner to get the best possible results. The only given, all sessions are 2 hours in length.
If you would like to have a chat feel free to schedule a 15 minute call